oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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