why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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