I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
