I looked at my own cervix.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
