There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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