i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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