I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You pole danced in your parka.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
