So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize