im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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