I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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