R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
