if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
