we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
