Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
