Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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