hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize