My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
