so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
