So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize