Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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