So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
