just tell him i said nine months
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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