Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
