how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
