Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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