He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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