4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
