Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
