Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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