I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
