well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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