i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
