I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
