can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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