She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
