All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
