Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
