These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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