the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
