the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
