i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
