does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
