Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize