There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I came so hard my ears popped.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
