I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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