and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
