found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You can't motorboat a personality
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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