also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize