Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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