so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize