Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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