is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
