I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
