Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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