During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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