your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
