If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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