Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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