my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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