There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
