please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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