my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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