you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
