YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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