dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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