Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
