Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
