She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
